This post contains rant. Please read at your own risk!
They say change is the only constant thing in life. Times change, people change, Govt. change (except ours is still flaunting saffron) but do we individually change as a person? Do we all go through a metamorphosis and come out of it as a renewed person? I like to believe that at every stage in my life I have made some serious changes to my personality. I'm not the same Prerna I was 5 years ago. I wasn't the same Prerna even back then. Every turn of life you grow up, you fail and you learn from it and you move on. But bringing a change doesn't mean changing your personality inside out. There will always be some qualities about you that just define you, it's a part of your natural process. Like if you're an extra caring person you'll always react as such in any given situation. It's a natural reflex.
As I inch closer to turning 30 I have some serious changes that I want to take care of. When I look back I see myself as a controlling person who doesn't trust enough to let things happen, who's an over-thinker and jumps to conclusions. I know for a fact that this isn't a part of my core personality but something I have developed over the years as a defence mechanism. It's not an excuse, I have decided to call a spade a spade so I know where my shortcomings lie. Before I turn the big number, I want to shed this part of me completely. The new me (yet again!) doesn't want to be associated with any negative connotation to her personality. If that means giving it up all and starting from the scratch so be it. The best thing I have learned in life is to be self-reliant. And that's what makes me even think of taking this plunge.
Second bad habit that I have cultivated is of keeping expectations. Now we all know that you're suppose to 'expect nothing and appreciate everything.' But easier said than done, right? It's only human to expect once, twice but if you keep doing it then it's just foolish. And I take this blame on me completely.
I have no flowery wisdom to share that life teaches you this and that, but I know that a change is inevitable. I have made changes to my physical appearance but it's time now to get a mental makeover and come out of the cocoon. Whether I develop wings and fly or I get knocked down that time will tell, but a dear friend told me that I need to do what I need to do, so let the countdown to 30 be a time of new beginnings!
They say change is the only constant thing in life. Times change, people change, Govt. change (except ours is still flaunting saffron) but do we individually change as a person? Do we all go through a metamorphosis and come out of it as a renewed person? I like to believe that at every stage in my life I have made some serious changes to my personality. I'm not the same Prerna I was 5 years ago. I wasn't the same Prerna even back then. Every turn of life you grow up, you fail and you learn from it and you move on. But bringing a change doesn't mean changing your personality inside out. There will always be some qualities about you that just define you, it's a part of your natural process. Like if you're an extra caring person you'll always react as such in any given situation. It's a natural reflex.
As I inch closer to turning 30 I have some serious changes that I want to take care of. When I look back I see myself as a controlling person who doesn't trust enough to let things happen, who's an over-thinker and jumps to conclusions. I know for a fact that this isn't a part of my core personality but something I have developed over the years as a defence mechanism. It's not an excuse, I have decided to call a spade a spade so I know where my shortcomings lie. Before I turn the big number, I want to shed this part of me completely. The new me (yet again!) doesn't want to be associated with any negative connotation to her personality. If that means giving it up all and starting from the scratch so be it. The best thing I have learned in life is to be self-reliant. And that's what makes me even think of taking this plunge.
Second bad habit that I have cultivated is of keeping expectations. Now we all know that you're suppose to 'expect nothing and appreciate everything.' But easier said than done, right? It's only human to expect once, twice but if you keep doing it then it's just foolish. And I take this blame on me completely.
I have no flowery wisdom to share that life teaches you this and that, but I know that a change is inevitable. I have made changes to my physical appearance but it's time now to get a mental makeover and come out of the cocoon. Whether I develop wings and fly or I get knocked down that time will tell, but a dear friend told me that I need to do what I need to do, so let the countdown to 30 be a time of new beginnings!
you’ve very rightly said , change doesn’t have to imply ; changing your personality entirely . If one is inherently caring , that caring instinct will surface . It will leap beyond barriers and break through . The changes you made ( keto diet etc ) / are commendable .The rest will follow .
ReplyDeletewhen you say , that you were this controlling person , who wouldn’t trust things to happen , but rather overthink them to no fruition , I can understand what you mean .My experience ( no life wisdom ) has been that , i think a lot of us imagine & cling to the image & the personality that we’ve “ thought ourselves to be “ . Of course it’s all shaped by our own psyche , our environment, our experiences , relationships & interactions . But if we think , like you’ve thought ( I know for a fact that this isn’t part of my core personality but something which i’ve developed over the years as a defence mechanism ) ..... we can probably see that parts of us aren’t who we are . Do we embrace & cling to notions of ourselves which are further fuelled by people , relationships , work , society & social circles. ? . To acknowledge that one has been controlling etc in itself is amazing & unpretentious. it’s not denial . It’s very honest & that i think sets the stage for any change . To unlearn is important , to let go of that which we think “ we are “ and to embrace possibility , chance .
Could i be what i desire to be as a person ?
Could i be this loving , caring , trusting , person who lives in the moment & doesn’t worry ? I could . i can . But i need to stop thinking that “ I am a certain way “ for there is no cage which confines me except the cage i’ve created for myself . As for : expectations ; they are the glue prerna. To expect isn’t wrong . Imagine a world & imagine relationships without expectations . Reasonable expectations keep us human . Our relationships would be lifeless and detached without expectations. When we suffer on account of failed expectations, i agree, we feel foolish . Yes , we do , & we expect again , and we feel foolish . But that doesn’t make us fools . That makes us normal healthy individuals. And for that we must not blame ourselves
If we pour a liberal amount of reason into things & know that things will be all right or they may go wrong again , we would know that our hope , faith & our goodness cannot be taken away.
self reliance is admirable , & appreciation worthy . As we become self reliant, i hope we find the time & the inspiration to look at the sun rays fall on the water , the trees swaying in the wind & the rains , the smiles that we create around us , and the people whose lives we touch .
For we , o beautiful soul haven’t come here to learn to love . We are love & we are the light . we’ve come here to experience life & its trials & travails . we have come to mess it up , and get up & fall and get up again , and to experience broken , failed , unreasonable , beautiful , blissful , and all that existence has to offer . And to smile through our tears & to live & to love . The friend was right , the journey begins . naah.. you won’t get knocked out .. sher di puttar. And if you do , there will be a rematch.. cheers to thirty , to new beginnings & wonderful experiences. :)
I really appreciate you taking the time to go through my blog and have a healthy opinion at each point. I was having a kinda dull day but you just made me smile. Thank you for the encouragement and the trust you've shown in me. The journey has begun after many pitstops but I plan to continue learning and unlearning as I go. Much, much love! :) <3
ReplyDeleteSmile or growl ? : )
ReplyDeletemore feminine or feline huh ? feline i think .
It’s a grey rainy day in bombay . And i am pleased to know that you read that long spiel . Wishing you the best , would be akin to saying bye , which i am not gonna do . I’m gonna read the other blog posts when “ i can reply after reading” .
So till then .. umm., thanks prerna & oh ya .. much love to you too . Shine on .
hey typo errors .. i didn’t do it , the alcohol & cricket did .. what i meant is
ReplyDelete* so hey thanks very much prerna, Shine on , Shine bright . Much much love to you to 😘
What’s up, yup this article is really pleasant and I have learned lot of things from it. The 28-Day Keto Challenge is 100% risk-free... which means you could complete it TWICE and still get a full refund
ReplyDelete28-Day Keto Challenge